Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
I must confess to suffering a severe case of writer’s block. I had my entire week planned and I scheduled completing this article Wednesday morning and the bulletin Thursday morning. Instead I stared at a blank screen on the word processor, prayed that God would reveal what He wanted me to write, doodled in a notebook, reread scripture associated with Easter and the upcoming weeks’ sermons, thought about current events and life in the church, and lessons I’ve recently learned in my faith. Nothing worked.
Last night I shared my frustration and disappointment with Nancy; that I felt empty and that I couldn’t find anything to say. She thought about it for a moment and suggested that I write about being empty. I immediately felt caught between two different possibilities. One direction would be to write a Seinfeld-style article – an article about nothing – entertaining but without substance. The other direction would be the challenge of even touching the surface of the enormous reality of emptiness.
Emptiness is a reality: emptiness in life after losing a loved one, the emptiness of the future having lost hope, the emptiness of the present in the pit of depression, and finding ourselves empty of possibilities as we’ve exhausted our strength and resources. Perhaps it is even an element of what Jesus experienced as he cried out from the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
I can’t speak for you but I fall into emptiness when I insist upon doing things according to my timing and by myself. I don’t have nearly as much of a struggle with the “what” of God’s will as I do with the “when” of God’s timing. There certainly are no crises of faith attempting tasks well within human capabilities. The challenge is when God’s timing is different than mine and to face circumstances far beyond human ability and control. Ultimately the challenge, or should I say opportunity, is to trust in God rather than myself, to wait upon the Lord rather giving God deadlines.
Yes, God’s path may lead you through the valley of the shadow of death; after all it led Jesus to the cross. It may even lead to an early grave and for many to give up hope – but we must remember Easter. God’s path will lead you beyond your own strength, wisdom and abilities; but that is a good thing. For it is only as we go beyond our own capabilities that we discover God’s faithful ability. It is in being emptied that we discover that we are being filled.
Your brother in Christ,
Paul